Lair To Lady
by Funky Funky Usopp
Summary: [Hints of UsoppNami and UsoppSanji maybe in later chaps, so mild yuri and het coming up] Usopp gets ahold of a devils fruit, and it really doesn't agree with him.. [lame summary XP]
1. Default Chapter

Lair To Lady

AN: I don't own One Piece at all ;; I've only seen up to... hmm when Sanji helps Jin/Gin guy so some people maybe OOC like.. Sanji but –shurgs- my first OP fanfic! I'm dyslexic so errors are due to more then pure dumbassnessess... 3

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Lair To Lady

Chapter 1: Sickly Sweet

The Devil's fruit, Hell's fruit, Devil's food. No matter what name it goes under, the results are all the same; once the fruit is consumed, it gives the person or beast powers beyond what you or I could imagine. From the power to extend ones own limbs, or to be immune from the slash of the sword, or even to much more unknown and puzzling effects...

Either way. Sea travellers avoid its consumption for their destinies... as pirates would be more of a death wish unless they wanted to take over the job of the anchor.....

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The smell of the sea on the wind was ever present as the Straw Hat pirates' ship bobbed up and down on the green-blue waves. The wind was ever so slight but enough to ease the boat towards the Northeast... toward a small island. Zoro was slumped against the side of the rails, his swords by his sides as he dosed off, into a sleep. Nami sat on a barrel and looked over a small map, a puzzled and confused look etched her face as she looked from the tarnished paper and over the sea.

"Doesn't seem to be marked on here..."

"Hmm?" Luffy blinked and looked up at the girl from under his straw hat and yawned, mouth wide open and rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"That island up ahead.."

The cabin door opened and Usopp, along with Sanji, walked out onto the small balcony. Sanji snorted a little and rest his arm on the white rails. A cigarette was placed between his lips as the small breeze brushed his bangs from his face. He tapped the ash when it grew to long and looked at the girl with a raised eyebrow.

"So? Remember, some of those maps date back along time.."

"What are you getting at?" she asked.

"New islands could have formed during that time..."

"Ah, I see what he's saying. The map's probably out-dated," Usopp added, and waved his hand in a dismissing fashion.

"Well, this will make it more interesting!" Luffy said and stood up with a huge grin and his face as he pointed to the island.

"To adventure!"

"To treasure!" Nami added in.

"To some bloody peace and quite!" Zoro growled, chucking his boot in Luffy's direction; pleased when he got an 'ow!' in return.

Usopp smiled softly and rested his elbows on the rail and his head in the palms of his hands, sighing a little. The light breeze pushed the boat harder and ruffled their hair. Life had been a constant adventure and danger all at once for him. What was next? Another man trapped in a box with an afro? Another insane captain?

The Going Merry hit the shore of the new and uncharted island, after its captain had the same amount of shoes a small shoe store might have owned, hurled at him; and almost all three of the swordman's swords placed through him. Never wake the green haired man up; it normally ended up in missing limbs or being beaten to death by random and nearby objects.

"This place is giving me the creeps," Usopp mumbled, looking around the dark shadowy beach before Sanji pushed him along.

"You think the noise the mast makes at night's creepy. Get over it," Sanji sighed and exhaled smoke.

"Well it is! That...squaking..noise.."

After a few moments of Sanji dragging Usopp by the scruff of his neck into the dark wood, and Zoro taking swings at the overly cheerful Luffy, the group were in the forest. Dark shadows loamed over them. Usopp shook a little, feeling a chill run up his spine when he thought he saw something move.

"We're being followed!" he squeaked and clung to the chef's arm.

"Usopp would you stop trying to molest me?" Sanji rolled his eyes and pulled out another cigarette, needing it to cope with the stress.

"Lovers tiff?" Zoro smirked and let out a small snicker, ignoring the one eyed glare that came from their ship's cook.

"Me and him? Like THAT could ever happen."

Usopp let go of the blonde's arm and fell back as the group walked on. Even if he held no feelings outside of friendship with their chef, that comment still stung a little. Ok, maybe he had a small crush on him at one point, and maybe still did. He knew he wasn't much to look at, but did they have to treat him like he was a six-headed beast? He looked down and saw his nose, it was that wasn't it?

He grumbled and sighed poking it, it was the nose. Shaking his head he walked slowly behind the group able to follow them without looking, since Luffy was in high spirits as always. Usopp really admired that about his captain, he always saw the brighter side of things, like he himself did a lot of the time, but he wasn't brave like the black-haired male.

He heard a rumble and stopped glancing down, realising the sound was coming from him. Well, they hadn't eaten yet today, so it wasn't his fault. Glancing around, the teen saw a small bush, which had an odd, but inviting, looking fruit. Green leaves, and the fruit itself was purple with red tints. He plucked it off the bush and looked over the small twirl like patterns on it.

"Well, if it kills me, it kills me," he shrugged and took a bite.

"Not bad..."

With that Usopp finished the hole thing chucking the stone away into the bush and then ran to catch up with the others. Zoro was now leading and slicing away the tree branches and vines that loomed out in front of them. Nami was shaking a little and cluching Sanji. Something had indeed been following them and had jumped at the girl, tearing at her face with small claws of long nails.

"What happened?" Usopp asked, blinking.

"You were right, as hard as that is for anyone to say," Sanji said.

"I think it's a bad idea to go any further myself," the swordsman said and looked over his shoulder at the boy in the hat.

"Hmm?"

All four jumped and turned around when they heard a small moan of pain, all eyes fixed on Usopp who was hunched over with his hands on his gut, sweating a little. "Ah!" he moaned and twiched a few times.

"Usopp-san?" Nami blinked and pulled away from Sanji, going to the other's aid.

"What's wrong?"

Luffy blinked and moved next to him, putting a hand over the other boy's forehead, feeling it heat up. He wasn't great at knowing what was wrong with a normal human-being, but he knew that wasn't a good sign for one to have. He frowned when Nami shrugged, not knowing what was wrong.

"Did you eat anything that may have caused this?" Zoro asked, putting his word back in its holder, not planning on going into the forest any further then they had.

"Are you saying my cooking may have been the cause?" Sanji raised his voice and glared.

"No, now shut up.. Usopp did you?"

"I..found a..berry or..something on a bush and I ate it.." great move Usopp, your intelligence really amazes us, huh? He thought to himself and mentally kicked himself for being such a dumbass.

Now wasn't the time to degrade himself, things weren't going well. He felt dizzy and the pain increased as if something was being torn inside of him. Another groan as he fell to his knees. What was this? Was it food poisoning from that berry-thing? He glanced up at Zoro, who seemed to be shaking him. A worried looking Nami and Luffy stood on either side of him. His vision started to get fuzzy and his once crystal-clear vision was slipping into blackness. The once loud and worried voices seemed to fall back into muffled scratches of sound.

More On Way

RnR 3


	2. The New me

Lair To Lady

AN: Ya it took me ages...ya I'm lazy...but part two!

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Lair To Lady

Chapter 2: The New Me

The long nosed male twitched in his sleep feeling a cold cloth folded and placed on his forehead, he heard two people talking; a woman and a man. The sharp shooter wrinkled his nose; he had the worse headache, ever worse than the time him and Luffy had accidentally drank too much rum. The voices started to get clearer as the head ache started to dim. Nami and Luffy were talking about what he wasn't able to make out.

"Well at least he's alive right?" Nami sighed and dabbed the cloth on his head.

"Yeah, but…" Luffy rubbed the back of his neck and looked over his crewmate.

"Luffy, don't be like that despite his...form... he's still a he right?" The girl asked looking at her captain as if really expecting the answer from him.

What the hell was she on about? Usopp thought to himself opening one eye slowly shutting it again when a sharp light invaded his still drugged senses. What had he eaten? He was still feeling wired from it but like Nami and Luffy said, he was alive so that was good. Mind you, he did feel a little odd…

"But, what kinda… HE has...well BOOBS?" Luffy said and stared at the person who should have been Usopp.

Boobs? Breasts? What was Luffy on about? Usopp slowly opened his eyes and stared at the worried faces of Nami and the confused face of Luffy who blinked while grinning his normal moronic grin. The male moaned a little and sat up rubbing his forehead. The girl bit her lip and stepped back nervously playing with the hem of her shirt.

"Usopp?" Nami mumbled.

"Ye…ah…" Usopp blinked….

His voice, it seemed higher, less grating then before and even soft, almost sweet. What the hell was going on? He clapped his hands over his mouth and stared at Nami who winced. Luffy's grin cracked into a much larger one as he pointed and burst out into a fit of giggles at his friend's error.

"What happened to my voice? I sound like a girl!" Usopp cried out.

"Um…you ARE a girl!" The black haired male, who found this ever so amusing, burst into giggles once more.

Nami whapped Luffy with the wet cloth she had been using on Usopp and let out a ferial like growl while glaring. Luffy winced and edged away from swinging range where he could continue to snicker to himself. The confused, not to mention very lost, Ussop cocked his head to one side and then, for the first time, looked down, where his flat scrawny self was before, now was a pair of average sized breasts.

"WHAT?!" He screamed in his new woman's voice as he grabbed his own breasts and squeezed them.

"They're... real!" another poke on the new appendages.

"Yeah, we found out what you ate…" Nami said now annoyed with Luffy and so she shoved him into the wall growling a little.

"Ow! Hey…." Luffy rubbed his cheek and watched Usopp get up from the bed and stand looking down at himself.

"I'm...a…girl…" his tone was airy and full of doubt at what he was seeing.

"Could have been worse! You could be dead right now" Nami said with a drawn out sign, she was looking on the bright side but how could Usopp?

"What was it you said I ate?" he asked and looked around. He saw a hand held mirror and picked it up. His face was pretty much the same, same nose, lips. His eyes looked more feminine and his curly somewhat matted black hair was a bit longer and looked much smoother.

"Well?" he prompted poking his own face seeing if it was real.

"You ate the Onna-Onna devil's fruit," Nami finished at last and sat down where Usopp had been sitting, her legs crossed in an elegant manner.

It seemed they were in Nami's room, which explained why there was a hand mirror in each reach, and also the place was neater. Usopp was still wearing his normal clothes and he didn't like how it exposed his newfound figure.

"I look like something you find on the side of the road don't I?" he itched his head.

Luffy sat down on the bed, also with his legs crossed looking from Usopp to Nami and back again, he repeated this a few times until the orange haired woman decked him sending him off of the bed. Right now Luffy was not someone she could deal with.

"Well, I'm sure I can lend you some clothes until we dock for supplies."

"Ah thanks Nami-san." He smiled a little, at least she was being helpful, and it was odd since they weren't really THAT close to one another as friends.

"Luffy...can you go and tell Sanji-kun to get something to eat?" The woman just wanted the male out of the way; she had a feeling Luffy was still going to see him as a male despite the new body, which was a good and bad thing.

Luffy seemed to like that idea, got up off of the floor and pretty much bounced out of the room slamming the door on the way out. Nami looked the other woman over and took a deep breath; this was going to be a bit harder then she thought. The once male wasn't as slender as she was and he was a bit taller, this problem was amplified by the fact she didn't really own many long skirts.

"Ok, lets get you dressed" She nodded, opened a small closet and looked at the items hanging on the wracks and things folded along the bottom, Usopp came over and looked too, it seemed odd that he'd have to dress like a woman. It was going to take a lot of getting used to.

Nami, being a very forward young woman, turned and faced Usopp, before the tanned teen could open his mouth to utter the sound he felt the woman's hands cup and grope his own chest. His eyes widened as he looked down and watched her hands cup and feel him, a look of pure concentration on the girls face.

"N-nami!" A blush stretched across his face.

"Oh don't be such a baby, I was just seeing if any of my bra's would fit you, you're not as um… adapted... as me…" she stroked her chin a little. "I think I have a few bras that are too small for me," she turned and went to digging in the closet.

"Do I HAVE to wear girls clothes?" he asked. "I mean I have loads of pants and T-shirts I can wear."

"You still have to wear…this." she pulled out a black bra. Usopp gawked at it, it was black and lacy something he'd never thought he'd ever see… Nami's underwear.

"And..." she pulled up rather skimpy panties.

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After about an hour of being showed how to wear a bra and much breast fondling, the new woman, Usopp, was finally dressed. He wore baggy-ish brown pants, his normal boots much to Nami's dismay and a dark green T-shirt that felt a little tight due to having a chest that protruded now.

"I still don't think I'm ready to face the others… they don't know do they?" The male sighed and adjusted the bandanna on his head. He still classed himself as a HE so he would carry on referring to himself as one. 1

"You know, you can't hide from them forever and I know a few things they're BOUND to notice if you try and hide it… and so… you'll be sharing a room with me." Nami flicked back a few hairs, grabbed Usopp's hand and pulled him towards the kitchen area.

Luffy was busy stuffing everything into his mouth and trying to avoid being hit by Zoro. He munched more food and darted his head to the left, his midriff to the right avoiding the green haired swordsman. Sanji was busy cooking more food. He heard footsteps and mumbled a little.

"So what was wrong with long-nose?" Sanji slowly turns his head and saw Nami. His mouth opened wide and his cigarette dropped to the floor.

Zoro blinked and raised an eyebrow when he noted the cook had been cut off in mid sentence, something that was hard to do to Sanji. The swordsmen turned and followed his gaze. He then proceeded to gawk. Usopp blushed a little and ducked behind Nami clinging to her arm like a small child while Luffy just ate everyone's food taking advantage of this moment.

"Um, Hi?" Usopp waved a little.

"USOPP?" Zoro was the first to over come the shock and realise just who it was. Nami nodded and pulled Usopp down to sit at the table by her.

"I told you he ate a devils fruit." Nami said and started to eat what was in the frying pan considering Sanji was still too busy gawking to make any effort to serve her.

Zoro smirked a little; it was odd seeing Usopp like this, but he had to admit the male made a better looking female. Since he caught on this fast, he had no doubt in his mind that Sanji must have also got the clues and should have been over his shock by now. Boy, was Zoro wrong… the green haired male sweatdropped as Sanji fell to his knees holding Usopp's hand in his.

"Ah! I wasn't told such a beauty would be dinning with us tonight! I would have made something worthy of such a pretty lady as yourself," Sanji gushed and kissed the 'woman's' hand.

Usopp blushed and looked at the male he had a slight crush on. Oh so NOW Sanji notices him? Sani was about to open his mouth to gush more romantic crap until he felt the handle of a sword smack him on the head. Sanju growled and stood.

"Can't you see I'm having a conversation with a beautiful woman?!" Sanji snapped.

"That's no woman you baka, that's Usopp!" Zoro snapped back and brought his word back and carried on eating his food all the while a scowl on his face.

"What…"

Usopp coughed a little and smiled weakly. "I um... ate the devils fruit... that changes your gender..." he then waved his hand sighing when Sanji twitched and dived to the sink.

"Well, now that that's over," Nami coughed and looked at them all.

"We need to dock soon."

-- More To Come --

1 I shall refer to Usopp as a HE even if he is a SHE in the fic so it doesn't get as confusing 

RnR 3 cus u love me ;-;


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